Dedicated for my friend Puru who passed away much before his time. He would have blogged this if he was here today. RIP Puru, we all miss you.
15th December, 2002
Crabs For Thought
I have written two pieces over the last three weeks, and I pine for readers' comments. Maybe it is the Christmas season, and Santa has stolen the month's agenda.
More likely, and as I said in my last column, it could be George Bush who done the stealing, leaving everyone else numb. It is time I lightened your gloom, and brought you some Christmas cheer with a recipe that would set great chefs and taste-bud-licking-gourmets dancing with joy.
I have this friend Gautam Nath who is crazy about sea-food. Mention crab to him and he breaks into a jig and a whoop. He is Bengali, and so is my wife. When together, they break into an animated discussion about shoshur-maach, cerab, ilish-maach, and what not. All gibberish to a tandoori-chicken loving Punjabi - me!
This friend, a veritable globe trotting market researcher, set up a Crab Lovers' Club in Delhi last year, and trotted up a membership of an 'Eager Fourteen Acolytes' within a week. So far, so good! Then came the problems. He was the chef catering to his acolytes' gastronomic yearnings, and with the club's meetings always held at his place, and at his cost too, it finally led to the demise of the noble institution. Now it's run as a clandestine underground club with secret passwords and special invitees only.
Here is one of his famed recipes for Chilli Crabs that I stole. The italics are entirely my additions to make the cooking easier for you.
First, the ingredients!
One kilogram of fresh cleaned crab in the shell. Separate claws, and rent body asunder into two parts before crab bites you.
500 grams finely chopped onions. Also a pair of hankies to wipe away tears during chopping process.
500 grams tomatoes whole.
4 table spoons red chilli powder. (Sachets of Eno are an optional accessory, and dosage depends upon the fire in your belly after eating Chilli Crab.)
A table-spoonful of turmeric.
Lemon juice. (If you are going to let the chillies burn your guts, you might as well add a few acid drops to accelerate the job)
A handful of chopped coriander leaves. (Large hands half full, normal hands full-full, baby's hands too dirty - so throw coriander leaves away and rush to shopping mall for more)
Four medium size cloves of garlic, finely chopped.
One small piece (size of your thumb) ginger, finely chopped. (Ensure that you chop the ginger, and not the thumb)
Salt to taste; yours, not your mother in law!
Two cups of washed Basmati rice
One cup of cooking oil.
Two cups of milk.
One wife willing to clean the mess.
One fire extinguisher.
Having collected all this stuff through the morning, the cooking comes next.
1. Invite three friends over for the bash.
2. In the absence of wife, or refusal by her to participate in the sport, pour a round of drinks for your friends.
3. Take a deep pot. (You have to have something to cook in)
4. Put in the oil and let it come to heat, keeping all randy dogs away from the oil.
5. Having shooed away dogs, cats, etc., add bay leaves, ginger, and continuously stir for a minute till light brown.
6. Pour another round of drinks for eager friends to prevent their departure.
7. Stir in the onions, and let them brown until they give out their water.
8. Blanch the tomatoes in a separate pan of boiling water for a few minutes. Remove and throw away peels, and roughly mash up the rest and add to frying onions.
9. Put in turmeric powder and a cup of water and let it cook, stirring it occasionally till it becomes a thick paste.
10. Add the crabs and gently stir as you see the color turning red.
11. Tie down impatient friends with nylon rope before they slink out of the house.
12. Add the red chilli powder (more if you like to sweat - highly recommended in case you want to save the cost of going to the gym, less if you want to live long.)
13. Add the lemon juice and stir the lot for a few minutes.
14. Add water till the crabs are two thirds covered - Stir and leave it on slow fire to cook for 10 minutes. Cover.
15. After 10 minutes, remove the cover and put the heat on high, stirring occasionally till the water level reduces to about one fourth the level of the crabs. Add salt to taste and stir gently, shut the fire.
16. Boil the rice separately (in half water, half milk) and keep ready. Two cups rice, two cups water and two cups milk with a touch of butter and salt would do fine.
17. Take pity on friends, untie them, and pour another round of drinks.
18. Pick up and place the crabs in a see through dish. (Keep bikini clad females and male life guards out of see through dish) Then pour its gravy on top and garnish with the coriander leaves.
19. Discover that you haven't used the garlic, so throw it into the dustbin before someone discovers the mistake, and makes you feel stupid.
The Serving
1. Since the preparation is for four, and with the three hours you took to get the chilli crab together, your friends may have sneaked out of your house for the nearest restaurant. Be prepared for nasty notes, and terminated friendships. Having a few friends handy in the cupboard could be useful under the circumstances.
2. If your wife fell for the gimmick and joined you for the crabs, take phone off hook and prepare for uninterrupted thrashing of a lifetime. Do not argue while thrashing is in progress, lest it leads to divorce.
3. If wife walks out after thrashing you, try inviting Saddam Hussein and George Bush for a peace conference. Ensure you have a pair of toilets with gold fittings for visiting dignitaries to use after downing the chilli crabs.
4. In case Saddam and George don't turn up, sit down, roll up your sleeves, eat crab, and howl like lonely werewolf in the Arctic night.
Purshottam Bhardwaj
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Human Library - Toronto Public Library
Speakers' library
Library users could check out a "human book" for a 30-minute conversation with the goal of exposing readers to people they might not otherwise meet.
Staff writer
It’s the next big thing for book lovers; no, it’s not a new e-reader, it’s an innovative, livelier way to read “books” — no printed pages or electronic gadget required. Recently, the Toronto Public Library went “old school” with its inaugural one-day Human Library program that harkens back to traditions of storytelling.
The program offered face-to-face conversations with a mix of interesting people. Library users could check out a “human book” for a 30-minute conversation with the goal of exposing readers to people they might not otherwise meet.
“This is really reflective of our experience, of our diversity and that people bring all kinds of differences to the city,” says city librarian Jane Pyper. “We all have a tendency to know what we know and be with whom we are familiar with, and this is a way of crossing that ... and being with someone who is different.”
Across several library branches, 60 “human books” from all walks of life came to speak on a wide range of life experiences, from living with a disability to immigrating to Canada.
Cairo-born Gautam Nath was a “human book” who talked to people about his experience with identity and immigration. Nath, the son of an Indian-born diplomat and a Czech-born mother, immigrated to Canada in 2008. “Re-imaging my identity was challenging while I also struggled in a recession-struck job market,” says Nath, who is now Partner at Monsoon Communications, a multicultural advertising agency based in Toronto.
Nath, who also runs several self-help online groups for newcomers, spoke to his “readers” about mixed identities and the challenges of finding your place in the world.
“I was fascinated by the profile of the other ‘human books’ as well as the range of readers who checked us ‘books’ out,” says Nath. “As an immigrant to Canada, it was a lovely opportunity to share my story and have others hear of our journey to Canada, our past life and our aspirations for the future.
“As newcomers to Canada, it also allowed immigrants an opportunity to meet and ‘read’ stories of Canadians from all walks of life.”
The pilot event was a success and the Toronto Public Library is now considering building on the collection in 2011.
Library users could check out a "human book" for a 30-minute conversation with the goal of exposing readers to people they might not otherwise meet.
Staff writer
It’s the next big thing for book lovers; no, it’s not a new e-reader, it’s an innovative, livelier way to read “books” — no printed pages or electronic gadget required. Recently, the Toronto Public Library went “old school” with its inaugural one-day Human Library program that harkens back to traditions of storytelling.
The program offered face-to-face conversations with a mix of interesting people. Library users could check out a “human book” for a 30-minute conversation with the goal of exposing readers to people they might not otherwise meet.
“This is really reflective of our experience, of our diversity and that people bring all kinds of differences to the city,” says city librarian Jane Pyper. “We all have a tendency to know what we know and be with whom we are familiar with, and this is a way of crossing that ... and being with someone who is different.”
Across several library branches, 60 “human books” from all walks of life came to speak on a wide range of life experiences, from living with a disability to immigrating to Canada.
Cairo-born Gautam Nath was a “human book” who talked to people about his experience with identity and immigration. Nath, the son of an Indian-born diplomat and a Czech-born mother, immigrated to Canada in 2008. “Re-imaging my identity was challenging while I also struggled in a recession-struck job market,” says Nath, who is now Partner at Monsoon Communications, a multicultural advertising agency based in Toronto.
Nath, who also runs several self-help online groups for newcomers, spoke to his “readers” about mixed identities and the challenges of finding your place in the world.
“I was fascinated by the profile of the other ‘human books’ as well as the range of readers who checked us ‘books’ out,” says Nath. “As an immigrant to Canada, it was a lovely opportunity to share my story and have others hear of our journey to Canada, our past life and our aspirations for the future.
“As newcomers to Canada, it also allowed immigrants an opportunity to meet and ‘read’ stories of Canadians from all walks of life.”
The pilot event was a success and the Toronto Public Library is now considering building on the collection in 2011.
Article in the Financial Post
Mary Teresa Bitti, Financial Post · Mar. 18, 2011 | Last Updated: Mar. 24, 2011 11:53 AM ET
Gautam Nath is very active in Toronto’s immigrant community. In addition to being director of Cultural Markets Research at Environics Research Group, he is a director on the board at Multilingual Community Interpreter Services (MCIS), has been invited to join the advisory board of York University’s Internationally Educated Professional (IEP) Bridging Program and mentors newcomers through the TRIEC's mentoring partnership.
He brings something to his role as mentor that many of his counterparts do not: Mr. Nath is a newcomer himself. He moved to Canada with his wife in November 2008 and, like many of the people he guides, had to restart his life and career.
“I built a career over 25 years in India with corporate multinationals in a variety of roles including marketing, corporate communications, change management,” says Mr. Nath. “But I had no network when I landed in Canada. When I talk to people, they relate to me because the experience is so fresh and it is one they are living. As a tourist, you know you have a safety net back home. As an immigrant you have moved life. There is no network, no brand image. You walk down the street and you are as strange to yourself as you are to every one else.”
For that reason, Mr. Nath says it’s important for new immigrants to move fast and start meeting people and building connections. This is particularly true for foreign educated professionals, less than a quarter of whom find employment in their field.
“They land here and realize although they have education and experience, they are essentially starting from scratch with respect to getting placed in a career commensurate with their education and training. And that can chip away at confidence. On the flip side, all that knowledge and expertise is going to waste,” says Nora Priestly, project manager, Internationally Educated Professional Bridging Program, York University. “Then there is the challenge of settling their families into a new city, new home — all the aspects of starting a life in a new country.”
While many of the attributes and benefits of mentorship apply to everyone, mentoring is a critical leg up to new Canadians, says Ms. Priestly. The bridging program was designed to offer new immigrants two types of mentorship. “Professional mentorship gives them the opportunity to be connected to, or sitting in, the industry where they want to be,” says Ms. Priestly.
“They get an inside take about common practice in Canada, very pragmatic suggestions about how to get to where they want to be, as well as a quiet reassurance about knowing the cultural terrain. It builds confidence and shows individuals they are not the first to tread this trail and that it is possible for them to succeed here.”
The Bridging program also offers peer-to-peer mentoring, where new participants are paired with other IEPs further along in the program. “They are helping them to feel like they belong. And they can work together so that the relationship is equally valuable. The faster you get settled in and feel connected, the more chances you will be successful,” says Ms. Priestly.
Perhaps one of the biggest hurdles facing new immigrants is lack of Canadian experience. “Employers want Canadian experience. And when you have someone coming in whose first language is not English, whose name is difficult to pronounce, and who has worked in organizations Canadian employers may never have heard of, that’s tough,” says Mr. Nath.
“One of the key messages I give to the people I’m mentoring is that you have to make your own opportunities. Netgiving or volunteering in a way that you can use your wisdom and experience is a way to get the Canadian experience employers want to see and to build a network.”
Mr. Nath’s own volunteer efforts as a marketing adviser led him to a meeting at Environics and his current role. His efforts on behalf of other new immigrants have led him to be shortlisted for the Top 25 Canadian Immigrants award for 2011. “Imagine, just two years in the country to be recognized in this way. Thanks to God’s support, my network of friends and a bit of hard work.”
Gautam Nath is very active in Toronto’s immigrant community. In addition to being director of Cultural Markets Research at Environics Research Group, he is a director on the board at Multilingual Community Interpreter Services (MCIS), has been invited to join the advisory board of York University’s Internationally Educated Professional (IEP) Bridging Program and mentors newcomers through the TRIEC's mentoring partnership.
He brings something to his role as mentor that many of his counterparts do not: Mr. Nath is a newcomer himself. He moved to Canada with his wife in November 2008 and, like many of the people he guides, had to restart his life and career.
“I built a career over 25 years in India with corporate multinationals in a variety of roles including marketing, corporate communications, change management,” says Mr. Nath. “But I had no network when I landed in Canada. When I talk to people, they relate to me because the experience is so fresh and it is one they are living. As a tourist, you know you have a safety net back home. As an immigrant you have moved life. There is no network, no brand image. You walk down the street and you are as strange to yourself as you are to every one else.”
For that reason, Mr. Nath says it’s important for new immigrants to move fast and start meeting people and building connections. This is particularly true for foreign educated professionals, less than a quarter of whom find employment in their field.
“They land here and realize although they have education and experience, they are essentially starting from scratch with respect to getting placed in a career commensurate with their education and training. And that can chip away at confidence. On the flip side, all that knowledge and expertise is going to waste,” says Nora Priestly, project manager, Internationally Educated Professional Bridging Program, York University. “Then there is the challenge of settling their families into a new city, new home — all the aspects of starting a life in a new country.”
While many of the attributes and benefits of mentorship apply to everyone, mentoring is a critical leg up to new Canadians, says Ms. Priestly. The bridging program was designed to offer new immigrants two types of mentorship. “Professional mentorship gives them the opportunity to be connected to, or sitting in, the industry where they want to be,” says Ms. Priestly.
“They get an inside take about common practice in Canada, very pragmatic suggestions about how to get to where they want to be, as well as a quiet reassurance about knowing the cultural terrain. It builds confidence and shows individuals they are not the first to tread this trail and that it is possible for them to succeed here.”
The Bridging program also offers peer-to-peer mentoring, where new participants are paired with other IEPs further along in the program. “They are helping them to feel like they belong. And they can work together so that the relationship is equally valuable. The faster you get settled in and feel connected, the more chances you will be successful,” says Ms. Priestly.
Perhaps one of the biggest hurdles facing new immigrants is lack of Canadian experience. “Employers want Canadian experience. And when you have someone coming in whose first language is not English, whose name is difficult to pronounce, and who has worked in organizations Canadian employers may never have heard of, that’s tough,” says Mr. Nath.
“One of the key messages I give to the people I’m mentoring is that you have to make your own opportunities. Netgiving or volunteering in a way that you can use your wisdom and experience is a way to get the Canadian experience employers want to see and to build a network.”
Mr. Nath’s own volunteer efforts as a marketing adviser led him to a meeting at Environics and his current role. His efforts on behalf of other new immigrants have led him to be shortlisted for the Top 25 Canadian Immigrants award for 2011. “Imagine, just two years in the country to be recognized in this way. Thanks to God’s support, my network of friends and a bit of hard work.”
Monday, February 28, 2011
Becoming Canadian
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact
Sachi Mukerji, Managing Partner and Creative Director
Monsoon Communications
(416) 918 0352
sachi@monsooncommunications.ca
GAUTAM NATH JOINS MONSOON TO
BOLSTER NEW BUSINESS GROWTH IN 2011
Toronto, March 1, 2011 - Gautam Nath took one step closer to his dream of becoming an intrinsic part of Canada's varied multicultural mosaic by joining Monsoon Communications as a Partner. "One of Gautam's key roles will be to make consumer insights, amongst New Canadians, the backbone of Monsoon's strategic capabilities,” said Sachi Mukerji, the agency's Managing Partner and Creative Director. "The other will be to add bench strength to our new business gains recently - and in the future. His network of contacts at key levels of management is quite amazing".
Gautam brings over 25 years of corporate experience with Global Multinational's and most recently was Director of Cultural Markets at the Environics Research Group.
Barely two years in Canada, Gautam has been shortlisted for the Top 25 Immigrants Award 2011. Featured on CBC National Television on Canada Day 2009, contributed to Toronto Star, Globe and Mail, Vancouver Sun and other magazines linked to New Canadians and settling into Canada. Involved in Maytree's Mentorship Panel, DivercityonBoard, DivercityVoices and TRIEC initiatives and also facilitates two online help groups. Has been a speaker at the Canadian Marketing Association, Brock University, U of T and Rotmans and is an active supporter of CAMP (Communications, Advertising and Marketing Professionals).
He was Director Marketing on the Board of ICCC (Indo Canada Chambers of Commerce) 2009-2010 and presently on the Board at MCIS (Multilingual Community Interpretation Services) 2010-2013 and on the Allocations Panel, United Way of Toronto. He is also on the York University Advisory Board for their New Canadians Bridging Program.
"Marketing to New Canadians is in its infancy. Marketers want answers to the most fundamental questions that the mainstream world takes for granted. Should we be in this category? What should we spend to make a difference? How will we measure effectiveness? Where do we even start? How many ethnic communities do we have to address? We at Monsoon will be to work with them to find answers supported by hard evidence – and enable them to take strategic decisions,” said Gautam Nath.
About Monsoon Communications
Monsoon Communications started 20 months ago as a hybrid mix that offers multicultural marketing consulting with strategic and creative offerings. With extensive national brand experience, Monsoon blends research insight, integrated communications strategy and results measurement, in developing successful ethnically-specific marketing programs. Monsoon is a valuable marketing partner for the building of brands and business in the dynamic and profitable New Canadian marketplace.
Contact
Sachi Mukerji, Managing Partner and Creative Director
Monsoon Communications
(416) 918 0352
sachi@monsooncommunications.ca
GAUTAM NATH JOINS MONSOON TO
BOLSTER NEW BUSINESS GROWTH IN 2011
Toronto, March 1, 2011 - Gautam Nath took one step closer to his dream of becoming an intrinsic part of Canada's varied multicultural mosaic by joining Monsoon Communications as a Partner. "One of Gautam's key roles will be to make consumer insights, amongst New Canadians, the backbone of Monsoon's strategic capabilities,” said Sachi Mukerji, the agency's Managing Partner and Creative Director. "The other will be to add bench strength to our new business gains recently - and in the future. His network of contacts at key levels of management is quite amazing".
Gautam brings over 25 years of corporate experience with Global Multinational's and most recently was Director of Cultural Markets at the Environics Research Group.
Barely two years in Canada, Gautam has been shortlisted for the Top 25 Immigrants Award 2011. Featured on CBC National Television on Canada Day 2009, contributed to Toronto Star, Globe and Mail, Vancouver Sun and other magazines linked to New Canadians and settling into Canada. Involved in Maytree's Mentorship Panel, DivercityonBoard, DivercityVoices and TRIEC initiatives and also facilitates two online help groups. Has been a speaker at the Canadian Marketing Association, Brock University, U of T and Rotmans and is an active supporter of CAMP (Communications, Advertising and Marketing Professionals).
He was Director Marketing on the Board of ICCC (Indo Canada Chambers of Commerce) 2009-2010 and presently on the Board at MCIS (Multilingual Community Interpretation Services) 2010-2013 and on the Allocations Panel, United Way of Toronto. He is also on the York University Advisory Board for their New Canadians Bridging Program.
"Marketing to New Canadians is in its infancy. Marketers want answers to the most fundamental questions that the mainstream world takes for granted. Should we be in this category? What should we spend to make a difference? How will we measure effectiveness? Where do we even start? How many ethnic communities do we have to address? We at Monsoon will be to work with them to find answers supported by hard evidence – and enable them to take strategic decisions,” said Gautam Nath.
About Monsoon Communications
Monsoon Communications started 20 months ago as a hybrid mix that offers multicultural marketing consulting with strategic and creative offerings. With extensive national brand experience, Monsoon blends research insight, integrated communications strategy and results measurement, in developing successful ethnically-specific marketing programs. Monsoon is a valuable marketing partner for the building of brands and business in the dynamic and profitable New Canadian marketplace.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Near Death Experience
Before I turn old and grey and forget this experience, thought would set it out into the space mission of the www.
Before my TNS days, I was working as GM Marketing - India and S.E. Asia for Oberoi Camarco, an International Trading firm, a JV between the Oberoi Group, India and the Camarco Group, Malta.
This particular time, we had a deal with a firm in Kyrgyzstan to supply them with men and women's shoes. We sourced them from Agra, Kanpur as well as Thailand and collected them all at a bonded warehouse in New Delhi.
The shipment was ready and now we had to find a way to get them across to Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan. As land was not an option, the buyers agreed to air supply and we were left to find the right cargo plane to take the goods.
After a lot of searching among options, we found an Ethiopian Airlines option that would fly in from Dubai, take the shoes at New Delhi International Airport and deliver them to the buyer.
The aircraft arrived at New Delhi with an Ethiopian crew who we met for briefing. And lo and behold, obviously while they did speak English, they did not speak or understand Russian. And then they asked us to get them the flight maps for charting out the route to Bishkek. We scrambled through various sources only to find that USSR never had English flight maps (obviously) and even though it was CIS now, no one had thought of making new maps in English. Predicament eh!
So again through our sources, we found a Turkmenistan flight navigator who was in New Delhi while his passenger aircraft was stationed here for 2 days. As our round trip would only take about 10 - 12 hours, we hired this guy to come on board to read the Russian maps. happy days or so we thought, but our man was very very poor in English. Recipe for disaster.
It was Christmas Eve, my boss the MD, had flight tickets for Malta and stayed on till the last minute helping out but then had to leave. We decided that it would be best if I went on the cargo flight to ensure that delivery happened at the other end and that at least there was one guy familiar with the goods and the protocols.
It was 6 p.m. by the time we loaded up the aircraft with the 60,000 odd pairs of shoes and we took off, 5 Ethiopian crew members, one Turk navigator and one me.
I sat for most of the time at the cockpit, looking at the dials and the whiteness outside till we started to come close to our destination. Then in the night sky, I could see mountains around us. Snow capped peaks and the night sky was actually white.
Bishkek, is nestled in a valley among these mountains and soon we began our descent.
This is when the navigator took over and started reading out some numbers from the maps for the pilot to punch into the machine. it was tense, as I could see the pilot drop sweat off his brow and fly with a tense grip on the stick. The navigator then said 300, the pilot punched in something when the navigator said trembling in a Russian accent, no not 3 hundred not 3 hundred, three thousand. The pilot freaked, we must have had a close call. His sweat tripled and he yelled at his engineer to take me into the back room. Guess they did not want a civilian get freaked watching this melodrama.
I was quickly taken to the back room, a small 6 by 6 cubicle, where the engineer sat with me.
We felt the aircraft dip, and fly down and then suddenly the thrust was given and we could feel it rising up again. Then once again, the craft dipped down, down and then again began to rise. What the %$#K I thought after the third attempt, what is going on?
The engineer said, they are trying to land but seems that there may be some problem and knowing the protocol, they will try once more and if not successful, will abort and fly back. Fly back? fly back, hell what will I do with 60,000 pairs sitting at New Delhi airport, if they do go back and leave me there. Oh God, please land.....
And it did, we felt touchdown, the speed slowed down and we were in one piece. Hurray.
After everyone gained composure, the crew opened the aircraft door and I looked out, we were about 30 feet up in the air, and all I could see around us was a thick blanket of snow. Far in the horizon, we could see some lights but we stood there helpless, up 30 feet in the air.
After about 20 minutes, we saw some lights approaching and soon three army jeeps drove up with a aircraft ladder vehicle.
The ladder was clipped on the door and army personnel came up, I understood some broken Russian those days and we were asked for our passports. They collected everyone's passports and took the pilot and the Turk navigator with them and got back into the jeeps and disappeared.
The ladder was still connected but they left two soldiers with machine guns standing at the bottom of the steps.
The rest of the crew looked at me as if I had the answers. What could I say? But then, good sense had prevailed when I was leaving Delhi airport and I had picked up a bottle of Johnny Walker and a carton of Marlboro. Taking them out of my bag, I went down the steps with my peace offerings. And sure it worked, they were friendly, once having pocketed the goodies. In our animated dialogue, I made out what they said.
"Your aircraft has illegally landed in our airport, our CIA will come and get all of you and put you in prison and then investigate the case and decide what will be done".
CIA, and not US CIA but ex Russian, boy! that would be a rough cut version of the KGB, first kill and then ask questions. Is that how they operate? Imagine what was going through my mind, what a Christmas present. Will I ever see civilization again? Will they make me an example of the capitalist and hang me in the square or will they convert me to one of them having to live the rest of my life in exile tending goats on these mountains.
I climbed back to the safety of the cockpit wondering what will happen next.
And then the night transformed itself, we heard a slow humming sound, that soon grew louder and then we all saw it, a convoy of lights weaving its way in the white snow. Is this the end? What could it be ? as we all stared out the cockpit door.
Half a dozen black Russian limousines drew up with one dozen huge Russian trucks behind them. They halted under the aircraft, the guards were spirited away and several men came up the steps. Among them was a young red headed girl who spoke English. She told me, that these were my buyers, they had got delayed because they were negotiating entry with the authorities at the main building. They took us down and made us comfortable in different limousines, each one warmly heated, music playing and hot coffee. The pilot and Turk navigator were also in one of the limo's.
They moved the ladder to the cargo hold, tens of laborers jumped out of the trucks and began unloading the plane. After having calmed down, I went out and met my buyers and watched the unloading take place. They were fast and the trucks were huge and in one hour, the aircraft was as empty as my belly.
Time to go, and then the authorities went to the pilot and asked him to pay up the $5000 landing fees and then we could leave. News to me, what was this landing fees? no one had mentioned it before. The pilot asked me for it, I looked at my empty pockets and said Duh! what a twist!
Idea! I called Tatiana, the interpreter and asked her to request my buyer to handle the payment and that we would sort it out subsequently. They were agreeable but said they would have to go into town which was about one hour away. The morning dawn was slowly breaking and I did not want to be stuck for another 2 + hours so asked Tatiana if she could have them let us go with an understanding that they will clear the fees. Happened yippee! and we were given our passports and got back in after the customary hugs of farewell.
Flight took off and we reached New Delhi with no issues and landed safely around noon. Opened the cockpit door, still 30 feet in the air with no ground support to get us off. Then I saw an Air India ladder driving by and yelled out, 'Oh baisaab' and were soon off the craft and on our way home.
Shoes delivered, job done, skin in one place, was happy to call up Andrew in Malta and report.
Andrew called me up the next day, there was an article which appeared in the Bishkek newspaper that our buyer faxed to him...'Last night an unidentified aircraft was found flying over Kyrgyzstan military airspace and our anti aircraft guns almost shot it down'.
Before my TNS days, I was working as GM Marketing - India and S.E. Asia for Oberoi Camarco, an International Trading firm, a JV between the Oberoi Group, India and the Camarco Group, Malta.
This particular time, we had a deal with a firm in Kyrgyzstan to supply them with men and women's shoes. We sourced them from Agra, Kanpur as well as Thailand and collected them all at a bonded warehouse in New Delhi.
The shipment was ready and now we had to find a way to get them across to Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan. As land was not an option, the buyers agreed to air supply and we were left to find the right cargo plane to take the goods.
After a lot of searching among options, we found an Ethiopian Airlines option that would fly in from Dubai, take the shoes at New Delhi International Airport and deliver them to the buyer.
The aircraft arrived at New Delhi with an Ethiopian crew who we met for briefing. And lo and behold, obviously while they did speak English, they did not speak or understand Russian. And then they asked us to get them the flight maps for charting out the route to Bishkek. We scrambled through various sources only to find that USSR never had English flight maps (obviously) and even though it was CIS now, no one had thought of making new maps in English. Predicament eh!
So again through our sources, we found a Turkmenistan flight navigator who was in New Delhi while his passenger aircraft was stationed here for 2 days. As our round trip would only take about 10 - 12 hours, we hired this guy to come on board to read the Russian maps. happy days or so we thought, but our man was very very poor in English. Recipe for disaster.
It was Christmas Eve, my boss the MD, had flight tickets for Malta and stayed on till the last minute helping out but then had to leave. We decided that it would be best if I went on the cargo flight to ensure that delivery happened at the other end and that at least there was one guy familiar with the goods and the protocols.
It was 6 p.m. by the time we loaded up the aircraft with the 60,000 odd pairs of shoes and we took off, 5 Ethiopian crew members, one Turk navigator and one me.
I sat for most of the time at the cockpit, looking at the dials and the whiteness outside till we started to come close to our destination. Then in the night sky, I could see mountains around us. Snow capped peaks and the night sky was actually white.
Bishkek, is nestled in a valley among these mountains and soon we began our descent.
This is when the navigator took over and started reading out some numbers from the maps for the pilot to punch into the machine. it was tense, as I could see the pilot drop sweat off his brow and fly with a tense grip on the stick. The navigator then said 300, the pilot punched in something when the navigator said trembling in a Russian accent, no not 3 hundred not 3 hundred, three thousand. The pilot freaked, we must have had a close call. His sweat tripled and he yelled at his engineer to take me into the back room. Guess they did not want a civilian get freaked watching this melodrama.
I was quickly taken to the back room, a small 6 by 6 cubicle, where the engineer sat with me.
We felt the aircraft dip, and fly down and then suddenly the thrust was given and we could feel it rising up again. Then once again, the craft dipped down, down and then again began to rise. What the %$#K I thought after the third attempt, what is going on?
The engineer said, they are trying to land but seems that there may be some problem and knowing the protocol, they will try once more and if not successful, will abort and fly back. Fly back? fly back, hell what will I do with 60,000 pairs sitting at New Delhi airport, if they do go back and leave me there. Oh God, please land.....
And it did, we felt touchdown, the speed slowed down and we were in one piece. Hurray.
After everyone gained composure, the crew opened the aircraft door and I looked out, we were about 30 feet up in the air, and all I could see around us was a thick blanket of snow. Far in the horizon, we could see some lights but we stood there helpless, up 30 feet in the air.
After about 20 minutes, we saw some lights approaching and soon three army jeeps drove up with a aircraft ladder vehicle.
The ladder was clipped on the door and army personnel came up, I understood some broken Russian those days and we were asked for our passports. They collected everyone's passports and took the pilot and the Turk navigator with them and got back into the jeeps and disappeared.
The ladder was still connected but they left two soldiers with machine guns standing at the bottom of the steps.
The rest of the crew looked at me as if I had the answers. What could I say? But then, good sense had prevailed when I was leaving Delhi airport and I had picked up a bottle of Johnny Walker and a carton of Marlboro. Taking them out of my bag, I went down the steps with my peace offerings. And sure it worked, they were friendly, once having pocketed the goodies. In our animated dialogue, I made out what they said.
"Your aircraft has illegally landed in our airport, our CIA will come and get all of you and put you in prison and then investigate the case and decide what will be done".
CIA, and not US CIA but ex Russian, boy! that would be a rough cut version of the KGB, first kill and then ask questions. Is that how they operate? Imagine what was going through my mind, what a Christmas present. Will I ever see civilization again? Will they make me an example of the capitalist and hang me in the square or will they convert me to one of them having to live the rest of my life in exile tending goats on these mountains.
I climbed back to the safety of the cockpit wondering what will happen next.
And then the night transformed itself, we heard a slow humming sound, that soon grew louder and then we all saw it, a convoy of lights weaving its way in the white snow. Is this the end? What could it be ? as we all stared out the cockpit door.
Half a dozen black Russian limousines drew up with one dozen huge Russian trucks behind them. They halted under the aircraft, the guards were spirited away and several men came up the steps. Among them was a young red headed girl who spoke English. She told me, that these were my buyers, they had got delayed because they were negotiating entry with the authorities at the main building. They took us down and made us comfortable in different limousines, each one warmly heated, music playing and hot coffee. The pilot and Turk navigator were also in one of the limo's.
They moved the ladder to the cargo hold, tens of laborers jumped out of the trucks and began unloading the plane. After having calmed down, I went out and met my buyers and watched the unloading take place. They were fast and the trucks were huge and in one hour, the aircraft was as empty as my belly.
Time to go, and then the authorities went to the pilot and asked him to pay up the $5000 landing fees and then we could leave. News to me, what was this landing fees? no one had mentioned it before. The pilot asked me for it, I looked at my empty pockets and said Duh! what a twist!
Idea! I called Tatiana, the interpreter and asked her to request my buyer to handle the payment and that we would sort it out subsequently. They were agreeable but said they would have to go into town which was about one hour away. The morning dawn was slowly breaking and I did not want to be stuck for another 2 + hours so asked Tatiana if she could have them let us go with an understanding that they will clear the fees. Happened yippee! and we were given our passports and got back in after the customary hugs of farewell.
Flight took off and we reached New Delhi with no issues and landed safely around noon. Opened the cockpit door, still 30 feet in the air with no ground support to get us off. Then I saw an Air India ladder driving by and yelled out, 'Oh baisaab' and were soon off the craft and on our way home.
Shoes delivered, job done, skin in one place, was happy to call up Andrew in Malta and report.
Andrew called me up the next day, there was an article which appeared in the Bishkek newspaper that our buyer faxed to him...'Last night an unidentified aircraft was found flying over Kyrgyzstan military airspace and our anti aircraft guns almost shot it down'.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
DO YOU KNOW YOURSELF?
A Quiz from Gautam Nath
Psychologists agree that each person is born with individuality as unique as his / her fingerprint.
They stress the importance of self-awareness in order to achieve self-contentment and happiness. Happiness will follow because you learn to live within the limits, yet to the fullest extent of your capabilities. This test will help you assess what character type you are.
In each of the following situations, select the one answer nearest to your own. There are no right or wrong answers.
1. If you had three free hours which you could spend in any way you like, you would:
(a) Go for a walk or to an amusement park
(b) Visit a friend
(c) Read a book
(d) Catch up with odd jobs around the house
2. If you were to find some old letters or diaries in your drawer, you would:
(a) Throw them out
(b) Keep them with the idea of reading them later
(c) Consider them to be worth your careful study
(d) Sit down and read each word carefully
3. Would you say that:
(a) You make friends easily
(b) You keep friends on an “easy come easy go” basis
(c) You do not care about having friends very much
(d) Your friends visit you at home
4. Weather conditions affect your mood:
(a) Not at all
(b) Not that you have noticed
(c) Nearly always
(d) Intensely
5. When you are invited to a party, you usually:
(a) Try to meet everyone who is there
(b) Find a certain group whom you like
(c) Often feel uncertain of yourself
(d) Compare the environment with that of your own home
6. When you hear about outer space probes, you:
(a) Want to be part of the venture
(b) Enjoy the television news about it
(c) Think about the adventure in climbing hills on earth
(d) Think that space probes are a waste of money
7. If you were to buy a new record album, you would probably choose:
(a) Marches
(b) Folk rock
(c) Symphony
(d) Waltzes
8. You think love is:
(a) Enjoyable and important but only one facet of life
(b) Less important than friendship
(c) Tricky and should be viewed with caution
(d) All important to life
9. If you were to plan a vacation according to your own desires, you would choose to:
(a) Visit several foreign countries
(b) Go to an elite vacation spot
(c) Be alone in the mountains, on the desert or at the sea shore
(d) Relax at home
**********
FOR ANALYSIS GO TO BELOW
DO YOU KNOW YOURSELF (ANALYSIS)
There are no Right or Wrong answers. Based on a count of the number of times you have selected (a) as an answer or (b) etc., it will point to your character type. Five or more answers of a particular alphabet will place you quite definitely in that category.
If your responses are scattered, you have a little bit of each character type as many people find they have.
“A” Personality: In all likelihood, you are energetic, capable and outgoing. It could be that you tend to be bossy but you are also considered a leader. You know a strong feeling of responsibility towards those around you and are an ideal traveler. Setbacks in life do not break your spirit and you enjoy challenges.
“B” Personality: You are usually gregarious and good company. You like fun and are usually eager to help others. You probably dislike being alone; perhaps you are a bit conceited and can be prone to exaggerate. Probably you are fond of the opposite sex and your affections tend to vacillate so that some people may think you are fickle.
“C” Personality: These characteristics mark the “Lone Wolf” the individualist who is also often a rebel. There is probably a tendency to hide your real feelings behind a mask and you dislike change if imposed by others, although you enjoy it when you make changes yourself. Many C Personalities are creative and find inner peace more in solitude than with crowds.
“D” Personality: You are very likely to be happy, self – contained and home loving. You appear cautious and can often be over anxious. In all probability, you are fair, loyal and greatly influenced by the opinion of others.
Often you find yourself imposed upon because you are sympathetic and willing. Travel is not one of your life’s objectives. You may talk about travel and take a trip but you are happy to be back on home ground again.
********
A Quiz from Gautam Nath
Psychologists agree that each person is born with individuality as unique as his / her fingerprint.
They stress the importance of self-awareness in order to achieve self-contentment and happiness. Happiness will follow because you learn to live within the limits, yet to the fullest extent of your capabilities. This test will help you assess what character type you are.
In each of the following situations, select the one answer nearest to your own. There are no right or wrong answers.
1. If you had three free hours which you could spend in any way you like, you would:
(a) Go for a walk or to an amusement park
(b) Visit a friend
(c) Read a book
(d) Catch up with odd jobs around the house
2. If you were to find some old letters or diaries in your drawer, you would:
(a) Throw them out
(b) Keep them with the idea of reading them later
(c) Consider them to be worth your careful study
(d) Sit down and read each word carefully
3. Would you say that:
(a) You make friends easily
(b) You keep friends on an “easy come easy go” basis
(c) You do not care about having friends very much
(d) Your friends visit you at home
4. Weather conditions affect your mood:
(a) Not at all
(b) Not that you have noticed
(c) Nearly always
(d) Intensely
5. When you are invited to a party, you usually:
(a) Try to meet everyone who is there
(b) Find a certain group whom you like
(c) Often feel uncertain of yourself
(d) Compare the environment with that of your own home
6. When you hear about outer space probes, you:
(a) Want to be part of the venture
(b) Enjoy the television news about it
(c) Think about the adventure in climbing hills on earth
(d) Think that space probes are a waste of money
7. If you were to buy a new record album, you would probably choose:
(a) Marches
(b) Folk rock
(c) Symphony
(d) Waltzes
8. You think love is:
(a) Enjoyable and important but only one facet of life
(b) Less important than friendship
(c) Tricky and should be viewed with caution
(d) All important to life
9. If you were to plan a vacation according to your own desires, you would choose to:
(a) Visit several foreign countries
(b) Go to an elite vacation spot
(c) Be alone in the mountains, on the desert or at the sea shore
(d) Relax at home
**********
FOR ANALYSIS GO TO BELOW
DO YOU KNOW YOURSELF (ANALYSIS)
There are no Right or Wrong answers. Based on a count of the number of times you have selected (a) as an answer or (b) etc., it will point to your character type. Five or more answers of a particular alphabet will place you quite definitely in that category.
If your responses are scattered, you have a little bit of each character type as many people find they have.
“A” Personality: In all likelihood, you are energetic, capable and outgoing. It could be that you tend to be bossy but you are also considered a leader. You know a strong feeling of responsibility towards those around you and are an ideal traveler. Setbacks in life do not break your spirit and you enjoy challenges.
“B” Personality: You are usually gregarious and good company. You like fun and are usually eager to help others. You probably dislike being alone; perhaps you are a bit conceited and can be prone to exaggerate. Probably you are fond of the opposite sex and your affections tend to vacillate so that some people may think you are fickle.
“C” Personality: These characteristics mark the “Lone Wolf” the individualist who is also often a rebel. There is probably a tendency to hide your real feelings behind a mask and you dislike change if imposed by others, although you enjoy it when you make changes yourself. Many C Personalities are creative and find inner peace more in solitude than with crowds.
“D” Personality: You are very likely to be happy, self – contained and home loving. You appear cautious and can often be over anxious. In all probability, you are fair, loyal and greatly influenced by the opinion of others.
Often you find yourself imposed upon because you are sympathetic and willing. Travel is not one of your life’s objectives. You may talk about travel and take a trip but you are happy to be back on home ground again.
********
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