The Astronaut

Mission Zebra, Mission Zebra, come in, come in, the radio blared from Base Station. Comrade Yuri, are you there?

Life on Planet Zora was not easy; you had to constantly watch out for streaming meteors and sudden lightening that would light up the night sky.
Comrade Yuri, we are sending a fresh consignment of captured Klingons, you need to store them in the sub zero prison on level three.

Yes sir, will do that. This would be the third consignment of Klingons since spring.
Tomorrow was my weekly run up to the Planet Demonic. That was normally a very difficult run as we had to fly over enemy territory and they had recently got these sophisticated head blasters imported from Zoras that one had to be very careful. Usually I would wear my invisible coat and hold my breath flying below the radar to avoid detection by their spy stations and manage to get to Demonic. It was fun over there, members of the four generations of the Beatles would be playing there this week and the Russian vodka would be freely flowing. This weekly jaunt was the high point of my life. Maybe Princess Bubba would be there, she usually came across once a month to party and boy was she a heck of a dancer.

The radio blared again, Yuri come in, come in.

The Klingon chief has escaped and according to our satellite signals, he has landed on level Eight. Take the Klingon zapper and get over there right away. You are the closest man we have to level eight so get over there and find him.

The Klingon Chief is actually something no one should encounter, 12 foot tall with iron spokes coming out of his head he was just as deadly as his cousin, the Rosnostic Devil and you never take on a Rosnostic Devil.
So I put on my iron gloves, took my Klingon blaster and off it was to level Eight. Boy! This was going to be a battle like never before. I saw him sitting on top of a metal tank eating a rhinoceros and crept up from below and blasted his backside. Ouch! He went, almost as if he was bit by a mosquito. And gave me that glare, my heart was in my mouth as I reloaded the blaster but this time with the red fluid, they always said no not the red fluid anything but the red fluid so I was going to give him a taste of the best. His glare dimmed for a moment as he picked a piece of rhinoceros from his tooth when I saw my chance. And zap, out came the red fluid and splattered all over his ugly body. For a moment, he stood up all quiet and then bellowed such a loud sound that millions in Planet Mombasa next door recalled that yell many years later. Thank god for my anti Klingon ear plugs. And that was the end, the red fluid worked into his veins and heart and he sank to the floor. Got you I said, tied his feet to the rope and dragged him to be frozen in our medical labs on Level Two.

Job done it was time to dress up and leave for Planet Demonic. After having a shave, and putting on my cologne, I donned my invisible cape and was soon out of the chute into space. Veering left to avoid a flying meteor, I sped myself down the galaxy flying low to avoid the radar and was successful landing smoothly next to the music grounds. The Third level generation Beatles were already playing and there must have been over 1000 spectators.

I hurriedly rushed over to the underground level two dance floor where Princess Bubba usually is dancing but she was not there yet. I guess I would have to wait I thought when I heard sirens. Not again, the crowds yelled as the cops came zapping down on us. Listening to the Third generation Beatles was not allowed and they began rounding up the crowds and organizers that I decided to take the back alley and disappear up the chute and emerged at level 4. The second generation Beatles were playing here and that was allowed.

I decided to settle myself down when I saw princess Bubba emerge. Hey the fun will now begin I thought.

Who said being a lift man was a boring job.

- The End -